If I could stop myself from this feeling of falling
Crying as I hold on to what was and what it could be
I don’t need you and I’ll never see you even try to stall it
Dropping down to see how I feel
If I could stop myself from this feeling of falling
Crying as I hold on to what was and what it could be
I don’t need you and I’ll never see you even try to stall it
Dropping down to see how I feel
Will we ever get to the other side?
Don’t know but I swear I’ll die trying
-MICHL
When we didn’t know
that this was the end
that the wind would blow
and take us to different bends
the last time i got to touch you
the last time we kiss
the last time i say goodbye
the last time i said it’d be you the most i’d miss
it was time to leave
and i held you for the last time
my heart it cleaved
and our future would never again chime.
Institutionalised private prisons with books
where the top guns are crooks
with a rape or a molestation filed
another unfortunate little child
where the rich get richer and the poor get fucked
consider yourself lucky if you’ve got your shirt’s all tucked
and all your fucking lux you ignore
because the weight of your asses we always bore
I’ve got nowhere to hide
Nowhere to run, nowhere to cry
For this isn’t home
And there’s never more than what meets the eye
Weeks spent bottling up what most call toxic
Every hour another eternity
Reality is not where I want to be
An alien word for me now, sobriety
I was never meant to be
I was never meant to see
All that life had offer
But I’m still here
At the age of three
My babysitter decided I wasn’t a good kid
And two years of it already made me want to leave
But I’m still here
At the age of eight
My mother wasn’t well
And for my father, by the gate I’d wait
Least to say, things weren’t swell
But I’m still here
At the age of ten
Life started looking up
I was back where I left off
My glass wasn’t half empty, it was a full cup
yet my body was never alright
I was always held up
For if I tried too hard
It would have given up
It’s not a good feeling
always being runner-up
But I’m still here
At the age of fourteen
I realised what I’d come from
what my past meant to me, what had been
and with this came my mother’s sickness
a downhill road for me this would mean
But I’m still here
At the age of fifteen
I did what I never thought I’d do
Picked apart a sharpener and a slit through my skin I blew;
for that moment, everything felt better
but for a bad addiction this would make, I knew
And whenever things went bad,
it worsened because of my GAD
So I looked to the blade for peace
for if I hadn’t, I’d have gone mad
But I’m still here
At the age of sixteen
I learnt how to put up a strong face
even with my chest, a black space
I played my role like an ace
Made some bonds I could never replace
and these bonds kept me afloat
led me over my troubles into the castle of happiness like a moat
but my breast still felt like a void
and the letters I left, were more than just a little note
But I’m still here
At the age of eighteen I sit
in front of a laptop by a bottle of gin
and after years of hoping for an end
all I come across is another bend
I fucked up, I did
and there’s no way out, nothing to mend
For all the times I picked up that knife
I can’t pretend
that it was another cat I tried to befriend
Everyday I wait by the ledge of my terrace
thinking about how my parents I’d embarrass
not waiting for a four leafed clover
just a little breeze to push me over
But somehow, I’m still here
Slowly through the cracks
Drop by drop
Over the marble, tapped
Straight down from the top
Unaware of where it heads
Flow slow, learn more about the stone
Oh this one was destined for the beds
Who hadn’t known?
These rocks fostered none
Let none in, did no harm
Yet for the stream, a path he made
Led, her hands in his palm
“till the end”, he swore
Another lie she chose
For, another year he bore
Just another pose
And then the stream met the ocean
And promised she’d be back
But amidst all she desired
One was meant to leave another crack